runaway bride syndrome

H changed tack and said we dont have as much in common. Im like, well all I did was support your passions (sport, preferences etc) you dont support mine at all. What so strange happened that she, like the devil with incense, runs from under the aisle? Im a fixer.sometimes I just cant help myself. I called him about a half hour later and he told me he called an employee friend to come to the office to secure the building. Personally I have way better things to do with my life and my time than to research a fuckwits fuckupedness! Everything you say is right on and I promise you are going to come out of this better, smarter, tougher, wiser, more resilient, hubby not so much Im afraid. I could not play nice any longer. 3. H chose to muck up a few days after I left but I managed to salvage things. I too wanted my ex to recognize her faults in this. Totally personal decision but given ALL we have endured I would not pass judgment on any one for their behavior or choices after infidelity invades their life. He will only perceive it as control and pressure from you. I am in that situation with my youngest daughter at the moment. and he truly is only hanging in until he can formulate a better strategy to get what he wants. I even boarded up the windows and door to the basement with plywood! Lousy effer!!! Learn the damn lesson. SIGN THEM!!! It is so sad how seemingly smart people get involved with sick people who are out to destroy others around them. This whole situation is becoming the moment of Hs evolution or perhaps his downfall. Modern society offers many seductive options that generate the feeling of compromising your heart. And leave me Struggling. Post with kindness. Description and types of russelia. Thanks for your insight TFW. Second wife just ghosted me from the beauty shopafter 22 years and no warning. Are these signs she has made up her mind to leave me or is this a typical cycle in the denial phase? It will truly have to come from him whether R or D. Im saying nothing! My SIL with whom he lived was my strongest ally. Much shopping and a decent amount of mani-pedi action. I did my best to shield them and had them out of the house very busy that summer. But little by little youll start healing. He was pretty adamant about d too. He did this not you. And then you have to greet hubby, go shopping, and many other far from festive concerns. She would just politely detach. He has done far too much choosing for me, without concern for me. The trip has been great and also at times difficult but generally I feel better at a distance! They have to make their own choices but they also have to live with the consequences of those choices. But there were no options left and D was the only solution. Guess who took the brunt of that? He even admitted that had I even had his friends or family talk to him it would not have changed anything. I hear you re the dinner with couples thing. Its HIS character that is on trial not mine, so why do I need to give any assurances about the trust I will give him when he is not giving me anything in terms of actual, proper and unequivocal remorse????? I will always hurt from this betrayal. I read your previous posts and I see how you have been betrayed by your ex. Im not going to get any cooperation. And now he admits he was wrong and he had no right to say any of those things. Theyre hurting, too. He didn't take kindly to this, and was on my tail, eventually learning that I . Do not want to imagine going through this without the ability to go for walks and snuggle up. Yeah, I get it. I gave myself a personal deadline for a decision of around now but there seems to be no progress or improvement in his attitude. The day he left me, the receipts were perfectly filed in a new folder on my desk, and this was after nearly 8 months of asking for them. Lawyers and accountants are now doing their ritualistic dance. I understand you straightened him out with regards to your husbands cheating but being a family friend are you certain he is out for YOUR best interests? The non actions are the reason I am pressing forward with the paperwork. Find one that is well versed in infidelity. So I had to detach. A good person? Thanks for the Winifred Reilly book referral ShiftingImps, Ill get that one!! It takes people with true sense of commitment, integrity, honesty, morals and empathy not to treat people poorly and disrespectfully. I too felt sorry for my H b/c I thought his A was over but he was still struggling with us. Never stop being you. You are not battling against the OW leading your CH astray. Definitely. SI. I hurried out the door to the Chinese place but, damn, forgot my wallet. I feel ambivalent actually. I think thats ok. I told him I was not going to live like that and I was very unhappy. Learn how your comment data is processed. I said she lacks integrity so do you you will make each other perfectly miserable! Whether she is a narcissist or not who knows. No remorse, only self pity. Ive never had anything like this before Sometimes I wondered if Id be happier if she didnt come home. Theres nothing wrong with a little help from meds but you have to make sure they are the right ones. Now, while in some cases spouses have a strong gut feeling, this is generally not the case with runaway spouses. Maybe she dumped him and that is why he is do upset. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. What just happened? I was someone else back then. Thats the ass-kicker too. Maybe not. Previous to that it was all crying and begging him to come home. Do you truly have the inclination to deal with it?? He will move in with his girlfriend and have very little contact with the wife and the children. Saw him again today for 2 hours (much calmer lol!!) So, if that includes dropping an F bomb now and then, I have no problem with that. Entered art contest. We lost a friend last week.so, just sad and no energy to post. So this is the big news. LOL. Her main purpose in life is to raise and educate children. But beneath the mask of a shy, vulnerable and good person something far more sinister lurks. You are not going crazy and B. For me there is no feeling of abandonment, I WAS abandoned!! Satori you are very very smart. People often suffer.alone. I dint know what your relationship was/is with her. But from what I have read EAs and PAs are a form of self medicating too. It was discouraging. I set them both straight about that. Ive certainly wondered about it. It almost made me laugh when I realised the script was playing out as the script that you said. She stood there in shock as everything I said was the exact path it followed. I had to be focused for my kids. There is a chance for a betrayed spouse to have some of his or her questions answered and to try to understand what happened. As Ive said above, I do not believe him. I do believe if the proper research was done (and absolutely NONE has been done), there would be certain tell tale signs in the brain associated with MLC. Blessings on you folks. He wasnt 50 but he sure said the same things he said when he decided to have another at 56. Once I had a nice big pile I turned on the garden hose and started soaking them. So sorry to hear that. I wonder what he heard. But never fall for the Lie. However, there are those that are dictated by masculine nature. Thank you TheFirstWife and TryingHard for the lovely replies. I thanked him for a lovely night. I had all the financial info on that. This monster was icy-cold, this monster was yelling that I needed to move out, this monster was throwing things and saying cruel things. And if need be some meds to keep the anxiety and migraines away. ! Um yeah thats exactly what I should do, with my unbathed self, dirty hair, and week old pajamas. We dont have kids so there is no additional pull. No matter how hard I tried, there was no stopping her. My lawyer has said I should put some distance in (NC) and he will follow up with email to secure obligations.Im still doing all my work as usual and making sure everything is airtight. D is hard. She will take any scraps b/c she sees $ and opportunity. Thank you for your support. I made her look bad because I worked out, taught Sunday School, looked younger. I then told him to leave, I was divorcing him, kids were staying with me, we were staying in house next 6 years until last graduates, he was paying for it and I would let him know which mediator we would use. But I hear you LOL. So I guess that is the closest I will get to remorse. I knew he was dying and was able to tell him how much I loved him and what a wonderful father he was to me. Ive been too stressed to even take the Valium or sleeping tablets I have been prescribed as I dont even trust myself to have the bottles nearby. It would be good to try and relax like we used to before this insanity began. You will want to, but dont. Thanks again for your responses and wonderful support. Parents need to know that the comedy Runaway Bride is fairy-tale light and will appeal to tweens and teens, as well as adults who like their romance on the fantasy side rather than dealing with real, flawed people and thorny situations. Just dont. 3. TheFirstWife. All of this is of no consequence except that of course my H was at that time working very closely with this employee on a number of things. The reason I was given is they never really sorted out her cheating ???? Our lives have been turned upside down by a spouse who became more concerned with me than we. I love your authenticity and your realness and your courage to be yourself. Find someone better! He repaid my trust by abusing it in fucking someone while on that trip. Clearly Im up to speed now LOL. If there was a chance to shift the tide then I maybe maybe just did, all due to finding my way here. And thats when things started to change. I am so so sorry this happened. Now the story is that M was bad so of course implicitly H was justified. And I have a feeling that this is a very big urge he has to stuff down because well, hes a big chicken right now!!! At least you dont have that!! What are your plans? Unlike his betrayal. They try but they cant. I guess its up to Doug and Linda how they choose to monitor this site. But most days I am much better now. Seeing H again tomorrow but I feel like he is trying to work out his next move rather than work on us. Refused to go to counselingThe reason, wait for itI have counseled couples with infidelity isssues and I know how this stuff goes What!!!!! He is still saying stuff like youll just have me on lock down ??? The legal and financial side of this is heavy!! But I love the honesty and rawness of TH too. Keep searching for someone who you can be comfortable with as a counselor. I dont know anymore. To all that I say take that Golden SOB for as much as you can!! She said (at the time when he first left our home) that I should be a realist that if he had been as bad as I said he was, that she would leave. Like they say The Shit Got Real!! This of course raises other thorny issues like future income for myself. Hindsight and all. You will see that. I am a very self-aware, emotionally intelligent person and even though I can see clearly that I accepted alot of behaviour over the years that was unacceptable and am working on healing these parts of me, the reality is that he was VERY skilled at lying, deceiving and manipulating. My biggest struggle was with the whys And I figured out its as simple as what I previously stated. E fesootai ma se uiga popole ma masalosalo, pe a ia (ia), ona o ia lava ma vafealoai mafuaaga, ua fefe e faaipoipo. BSA has had some good info but lately shes into an area for which I have very little interest. H does not like hard limits but thinks it is ok to push me until I am at my wits end and then complain about how I react when I get there. But whos to say the damage wasnt done in one anecdote? They are believing all of his garbage that he is spewing out. Yep sorry youre going to have to make the effort because well hes a frightened little forest creature now. The toddler thing, for sure. I will pray for you and I will pray for your H, sounds like hes in a bad place now. That was my bad. ULK figuring out that stuff is way above my pay grade or interest and I just dont care. It would add dimensions of pain. Mid-Life Crisis? Dont give away the farm as people say in the Midwest where I live. I mean how appropriate was that? She will hang in as long as possible. So many do thinking another person will make them happy and eliminate their troubles. Baby steps. Staying calm and one day at a time etc. Just remember to avoid believing his words and WATCH HIS ACTIONS. What we do know is that my great-grandmother grew up to be a very bitter woman who hated men. Saying no to the spoiled child. Oh and I cant believe your H got angry about not being able to be with OW even while you were in the same house still!! Cheaters have a lot to lose. When considering a deal, it's critical to work with trusted advisers, strong legal counsel and sophisticated lenders, Mike says. At this point al you can do is focus on you. He said his greatest hope was to spend the rest of his days building our connection and future. I pray and hope you are right TH. When Trying Hard asked me to come up with some of the stupid things my husband said I went back to my journal that I kept. The roller coaster continues. TryingHard. To extend your analogy: heres something useful I got recently from my very wise ex-Defence sibling: In my DefenceSibs way of looking at the world, there is only above the line or below the line thinking. Why are some young people afraid to get married? The words just jump out at me. Memes are in their own category. And so it goesHes done with our M. I can feel it. I am laser-focused on sorting out the financial side so that at least is more stable. Perhaps they will do us all a favor and remove themselves from the gene pool! My price for this mess will be higher than anyones. We all learn every day how to manage ourselves and our situation. Tried to be a better parent. It was a great life for 18 months not being told I love you, good morning, good night, how was your day, etc. Lots of people call their spouses behavior an MLC as though well that is much different than all the other garden variety cheaters. Look you e reached out. That said, weve never censored anyone on this site and were not about to. Im pretty strung out, hence the very very long posts. Yikes, that was painful. And I suggest find a female as well. It saved my sanity and I had it for 2+ years. All my relationships will change as a result. So who I was 15 years ago when I met my H is nowhere the same in terms of my maturity and understanding of people. The reasons for having an affair when coming out of the mouths of cheaters are numerous and all diversion or projecting. Its like Jekyll and Hyde one day the spouse is the person you have known for years and then you wake up and dont even recognize this person. H profusely apologized for leaving like that as he freaked out and it was such a shock. Work on your confidence. I am all over it. I will be just fine should we decide to divorce. So I think you can say it but it wont be an option. I think there is a little boy in a lot of grown men and so many of them only behave when they know that mommy can sometimes be scary. You have made me laugh in some of my darkest moments. My anxiety started after DDay1. I just called my husband to come home after telling him what I found..I was scary calm. Not to mention if she wants to immigrate to here eventually, shed already be on file and not in a good way. Even in the grocery store. The emotional devastation is unbelievable. Be ready, have an agenda and try to stick to it. I think counseling is the best thing I did. Whatever happened during that period has been lost to the pages of history. The closest I came was a couple months after R he had to get a colonoscopy. A clinic sounds fucking boring!!! Big fraud! Having burned up my keypad and at the risk of overstaying my welcome here, Im going to give you all a rest now. Badass first have to apply in every situation and Im a big believer in choosing ones battles. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. It worked. Why does pretending not to care get a result and not just being legit and honest? I believe it. You have made me cry with your compassion and wisdom. You must fight it. But he may change and decide to come back and beg forgiveness. As far as my own actions are concerned, I do feel Im doing the best I can. They have got to vilify us otherwise they are bad people. None of my friends do.

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